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Author: Vauna Beauvais (Vauna Beauvais)
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Every person has the capacity of high self-esteem.
We are not born with it.
We need to build it up.
Building high self-esteem is a process, not something you can develop overnight.
As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."
If you did not build up your own self esteem high enough as a child – it is not too late to do so now.
Work through these 9 Tasks that you can use to build up and raise your self esteem…
Task One
Stop comparing yourself with other people.
There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less.
If you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat.
Task Two
Stop putting yourself down.
You can't develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities.
Whether speaking about your appearances, your career, your relationships, your financial situation, or any other aspects of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments.
Start building yourself up.
Appraise your positive qualities and tell yourself over again.
Be realistic.
Fill your own head with positive phrases about yourself.
Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.
Task Three
Accept all compliments with “thank you”.
Ever received a compliment and replied," Oh, it was nothing."
When you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise.
Respond to all compliments with a simple “Thank You”.
Task Four
Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self-esteem.
Whatever material you allow to dominate mind will eventually take root and affect your behaviour.
If you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders and business rip off; you will grow cynical and pessimistic.
Similarly, if you read books or listen to programs, that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics.
Look for positive things and people all around you and not on negative ones.
“Be the Change that You Wish to See in the World” (Mahatma Gandhi).
Task Five
Make a list of your past successes.
This doesn't necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. It can include your ‘minor victories’, like learning to skate, finishing college, receiving an award or promotion, reaching a business goal, etc.
Read this list often.
While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.
Task Six
Start giving more.
I'm not talking about money. Rather, I mean that you must begin to give more of yourself to those around you.
When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem.
Task Seven
Get involved in work and activities you love.
It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you despise. S
elf-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable.
Even if you can't explore alternative career options at the present time, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable.
Task Eight
Be true to yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you.
You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead.
If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem is lowered.
Task Nine
Take action!
You won't develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges.
When you take action - regardless of the ensuing result - you feel better about yourself.
When you fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy - and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem.
So there are the 9 Tasks
Do all 9 tasks at your own pace.
That is the process of building self esteem.
You are unique.
You have enormous potential
You already have the capacity for experiencing love of yourself and extending love to others.
As your self-esteem grows, you’ll not be afraid of failure, but will take more risks and relax about life.
You wont be as concerned with getting approval of others.
Your relationships will be much more rewarding.
You’ll pursue activities that bring you joy and satisfaction.
And you will make a positive contribution to the world.
Most importantly, high self esteem brings you peace of mind
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