The leaves are changing, the kids have charged back to school, and your neighbor started construction on her house—so why do you feel so stuck?! The change of seasons often makes you aware of the passage of time and may have you wondering how to move forward with your life. Some people even start to experience the “blues and blahs,” that is, a low mood, lack of energy, and indecision.
As a psychotherapist, I have helped guide people through the challenges of life change, brought on by divorce, career dissatisfaction, parenting difficulties, or just fighting the nagging feeling that you know there’s got to be a way to get more out of life. Over the years, I have identified some attitudes and behaviors that keep people stuck, and others that allow them to move forward. Following is a sampling of each.
How to Stay Stuck:
“Keep it Fresh” – Stay stuck in the anger and hurt over past relationships, personal mistakes, and missed opportunities.
“I’ll Do that When…” – Don’t start a new project or make a new plan until…your kids are in school all day, or head off to college….you’ve lost all that weight and look better…you have more time…
“Overgeneralize All Failures” – If you’ve failed at one thing, it must mean you’re a failure at everything, so you might as well not try something new.
Sound too familiar? Now try these attitudes and behaviors instead.
How to Move Forward and Achieve Your True Potential:
“Fake it ‘til You Make It” – Even if your heart isn’t yet there, start taking steps and making plans.
“Seize the Day” – Find reasons to view change and even disruption as opportunities for growth.
“Reach Out” – Reach out to new groups, new friends, or find a new hobby. You’ll be surprised how quickly new people and activities can help you find your creative energy.
Dr. Klein is a licensed psychologist who specializes in helping people through difficult life transitions. She treats adults, adolescents, and couples. Dr. Klein also serves as a forensic expert in family matters, including child custody, for the Courts. Her private practice is located in Roslyn Heights, and she is affiliated with North Shore University Hospital. She can be reached at (516) 484-4898.
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